I’m turning 32 in a couple of weeks. Last time I checked, no one cares when you turn 32. That is why I’m throwing my own birthday party this year. I usually do this anyway, as it would be a lot to ask someone else to do every year, but I’ll be handling everything this time around. That means I’m the greeter, the chef, the baker, the decorator, the clean-up, and the designated driver. What?! The designated driver at my own birthday party?! Sounds crazy, I know. But I’m pregnant, so it’s really not that big a deal. Typically someone else would get that job, as well as cleanup and baking, but I’ve run into a few issues this year.
The first issue is that I’m preggo. I already have one child and I don’t need a second shower, but I know my family is going to do at least a “sprinkle,” because that’s just how they are. So I don’t need them throwing another party for me. I also happen to be finding out the sex the weekend before my birthday. Since we like to reveal with blue or pink cake, it just makes sense for me to combine that with my own birthday party. The second issue is I’m still new to Tennessee, and I don’t feel like letting one of my recent acquaintances come up with a guest list to introduce me to people. Regardless, there is nothing wrong with throwing your own birthday party! Just follow a few rules so you don’t come off as needy. Unless you are needy. Then do what you want.
Rules I Have for Hosting My Own Birthday Party
1. No Requesting Gifts
Did you know some people out there still bring gifts to birthday parties? I feel like in college all my friends and I were so broke we just gave up on that tradition and never picked it back up. Then I moved to the south and guests kept bringing me things, whether it was for my birthday or housewarming or whatever. I might bring a bottle of wine if I’m invited somewhere, but I’m not into gift giving for every occasion. I don’t want gifts either – unless it’s wine, obviously. So, when I host my own birthday party, I not only don’t request gifts, but I specifically tell people not to bring them. Maybe it’s tacky, maybe it isn’t. Either way, I don’t want you to stress when you come to my party.
2. Don’t Go Overboard
If I’m throwing a party for someone else, I almost always buy more food and/or decor than I will have time to deal with. I want everything to be perfect for them. But guess what? When I’m throwing my own birthday party, I’m usually just impressed I thought of inviting people ahead of time. I feel like it’d be weird to hang a whole bunch of birthday banners for myself, so I’ll definitely skip that. I get to pick my own favorite foods, whether I pick it up or cook. It’s also nice not to have to deal with some fancy bakery – I don’t like a lot of cake frosting, but bakers love it. So I’ll slather some buttercream on it and be done. No fuss, o headaches, just all my favorite things.
3. Don’t Feel Bad Combining With Another Event
This year I’m doing a little gender reveal during my birthday. Last year I had a newborn and have legitimately no memory of my birthday as I was very sleep-deprived. The year before I enjoyed the big 3-0 at the same time as the Big Game. I know not everyone has a championship to watch on their birthday, but if there’s something else to combine it with, why not? I feel like it takes the spotlight off me, plus it keeps us “old” folks from getting partied out. If I was still in my early twenties back-to-back parties might be fun, but that’s not the case anymore. I had two Christmas parties in three days this December and it about killed me. Maybe that will change once the kids are older, but that seems so far away.
4. Don’t Get Caught up with Etiquette
Why do I say don’t get caught up with etiquette while I’m posting rules that are basically about etiquette? Well, look. Some people get really stressed about what society has to say about throwing your own birthday party. Miss Manners is particularly gruff on this point. There are whole discussion boards in forums dedicated to how tacky it is, and yadda yadda yadda. But who cares? If Miss Manners is your friend, just don’t invite her. Tell those forum people to stay home too. Not everyone knows how to throw a party, and even if they did, not everyone has friends who would want to throw one for them. Feel free to ignore advice that is simply too old-fashioned to listen to.
5. Have Fun!
This one’s actually important. You know what the worst part of hosting my own birthday party is? It’s that I’m a hostess. I like hosting, obviously, but it’s a lot of work and running around. You have to check on people and make sure your guests are okay, specifically your guest of honor. So how do you check on the guest of honor when it’s you? Don’t feel bad if you get caught up with someone and don’t make constant rounds to other people. This is your show, so you might as well enjoy it and let them come to you if you want. That’s about it for rules. So go out, have fun, and plan your own party!